I need a break. I need to run, befor all these pressures cave in on me. I'm this close to the breaking point.

Sigh.

2 things have changed the way I've felt about myself in London. I've finished reading Zorba the Greek, and good god, I have never read a book that has so moved me and made me think yet. It is an absolute joy to read, such is the beauty it is written with.

"Some men - the more intrepid ones - reach the edge of the leaf. From there we strectch out, gazing into chaos. We tremble. We guess what a frightening abyss lies beneath us"

"The human soul is heavy , clumsy , held in the mud of the flesh. It's perceptions are still coarse and brutish. It can divine nothing clearly, nothing with certainty. If it could have guessed, how different this separation would have been".

I want to see the world through Zorba's eyes. Receiving an email from a friend about his stay at a monastery made me cry. I look at my own life in London, and I feel ashamed at myself.

I promised myself, when I'm going to London, I'll live life to the fullest. And yet, 2 months here, and what have I done? Parties, clubs, drinking. I'm highly disappointed. This isin't living, at least not to me. I was so ashamed, I couldn't find it in me to reply..not just yet.

I'm tired.