Growing up

*reflection post*

My dad was talking with me about my future yesterday. How it was important to have money and what not.

I'm not going to be naive and idealistic by saying that I don't need money. That I'm happy without it. Reality's a bitch, and without money, to put it simply, you're fucked.

But I can't help but wonder sometimes. I look at most of the adults I know. I can't judge, as I don't truly know them, but sometime I get the feeling that they're unhappy with life.

I'm afraid of growing up. I'm afraid that when I become an adult, in the pursuit of "happyness" in the rat race, I'm afraid I'll lose everything that was once beautiful to me. I'm afraid I'll become a jaded old person who has money, but is so deeply unhappy. I do not think for a second that money will make me happy.

To be honest , I can't give two fucks bout having that big mercedes, or the big house, or all the latest "toys".

Who knows? Maybe 10 years in the future, I'll stumble across this blog once again. And I'll laugh at myself for being so idealistic. But right now? I just can't care.

I've got 2 life plans I've already thought up :

A) Plan 1
Marry a super rich old woman. Ya know, the whole "old women are into young guys" sort of thing. Then, I'll treat her super nice, dress up as a bunny (if that's what Grandma Kinky wants), whatever it takes. Then inherit all her money when the time comes. Sure, I'll "grieve" for a moment, if that's what it takes to step out of public spotlight. From then on, my life is set. I won't fucking work, I'll just live off her inheritance. Imagine the girls, the cars and the fun I'll have swimming in cash.

B) Graduate, find someone to marry, find a nice place out of the city, get a job (outside the city la. Loads of jobs to do), and settle down.

=D Okay, B is just epitome of idealism. But still, I hate the city. I hate the noise, the rush. I want to find somewhere quiet, and live the rest of my days there enjoying the peace and scenery. Meh. I'm a boring person.

Which makes me realize just how much I love Puchong. KL feels like an alien place to me. I feel uncomfortable everytime I'm there. On the way back from college, back to my home, I always get this feeling of peace and familiarity. I've grown to love this place so much.

Why the sudden reflection on Puchong? Well, I went to eat breakfast with my dad today, and we decided on mamak. He wanted to go to Rishad, but I was insistent on going to James. I don't know, I just have a very strong attachment to James. Rishad seems so fucking commercialised, so foreign. James feels...awesome. It's so god damn cosy, and god knows how many hours I've spent there hanging out. Besides, the food's good. Rishad's just sucks balls.

*Btw, before I end this post, I know this is random...but I want to say this. I don't think anybody will understand, but it'll give me a peace of mind.

I'm so scared to grip on tightly. Held loosely in your hand, and it will remain. Hold on too tightly, and it will slip away. I'm just so scared, that I maybe holding on without realizing it. I don't want be the one restricting. My hand tightens the moment thoughts come in.......maybe someday, it will all slip out of my hand. And no matter how I try to keep it in, it'll flow out........never to come back again.

Bong you suck! (Haha, now that you read my blog, get ready for constant abuse) =D

Ciao

Ear food
Insufficient Love - Raymond Lam =D Awesome.

*I need new earphones. Mine are fucked up beyond belief =(