......

...I'm so depressed. Big time.

I don't want to talk bout whats causing this, but its something that I was dreading would happen, and it did. And the feeling sucks so badly

I'm on a 3 day holiday right now, and I've been doing a lot of thinking. The more I think , the more depressed and emo I get, until I feel like I'm just drowning in it. I've felt like comtemplating suicide, but I daren't even think of it. I keep on asking myself how it turned out to be like this, and I end up blaming myself , and thinking of my weaknesses every single time. I dread waking up every morning, knowing that I have to drag myself through another day of hell filled with thinking and misery.

I immerse myself in my computer, and my ps2, but those are only temporary reprieves to the problem. After an hour or two of mindless fun, when I'm left alone without anything to do, the feeling sets in again.

I hate it so much. I just want everything to go away, that I can just go to some corner and hide there, until I don't have to face anybody again.

I'm starting to hate everything around me. But I think the thing I hate the most is myself. I hate that I'm so useless , and that I'm just so .... me. I hate that I'm still stuck in the past, when I should be living in the present.

What's wrong with me?

I need someone to take me away from this.

Please.