Damn

....I'm not freaking happy . I feel so bloody awkward, so... i dunno. I just don't feel as if I belong.

I miss you guys so much. I miss the times that I feel so comfortable with you guys that I can just sit there, be quiet, and still feel so god damn happy.

I miss the times I can laugh, and say what I want to say without worrying how I appear like.

I miss the times that I feel so damn safe, the times where I knew how I appeared in your eyes, and never needing to go home and ponder bout every single small action I did, and whether it made me look weird/whatever.

....I miss the times that when you guys talked, all I ever wanted to do is freeze that moment in time, and just hug all of you without you knowing.

I miss the times I laughed, truly laughed, and not put up this facade of mine.

....Times that will never come back.

Ghay and emo, yeah. I can't help it, I'm damn frustrated right now. I just feel like crawling into a damn hole in my home, and hide there.

On the upside, during my whole schooling time in SMKS3, I never ever felt like how it was to keep on thinking bout someone.

But I do now.

Everytime in class, I keep on thinking bout her when I couldn't see her. I even spaced out in Chemistry Class thinking bout her.

God freaking damn it.

I don't know. I don't even know why I like her. But I do know my heart skips a beat when I talk or even see her in the hallway. I definitely know its not love, its mere attraction.

But the feeling rocks while its still there.

Haiz. I miss you guys.