Reflections in the rain

*Reflections post*

Damn. Gotta let my heart out on this 1. During physics tuition, I was disturbing Eugene and playing with him, when suddenly Vincent burst out saying "Next time you don't come our tuition la. Come here play only not to study, and disturb us. You might be thinking I'm joking, but I'm serious". Knowing my personality, I retorted with sarcasm and stuff throughout the rest of the session, acting nonchalant. But damn, it got me thinking. Seriously.

It wouldn't have amounted to much if I didn't actually stop and think about what had happened. I was waiting for my uncle to come pick me up, so I was sitting outside someone's house, on the porch. Theres nothing much else you can do when your alone and bored ya know. Then, it started drizzling, which was just perfect -.-.

I was thinking, how pathetic I looked. Sitting there alone, drenched (partially anyway). Would the rest of my life be like this? I mean, would I grow up being alone , and without anybody else? Vincent's words really got me thinking. I mean, in school, I try to avoid any attachment to anybody else, convinced that I could live life without any of you. Everytime some one does something for me, I shrug it off and reply with sarcasm. I mean, I don't want to develop a dependency on you guys. I don't want to be clingy. I don't want to be the sweet guy who says "we'll be friends forever and forever". I'm a cold person, I admit that. But, I'm some one who can feel to ya know. Guys who insult me, say crap, or just scold me (like Vincent) , I shrug off. But secretly, after that, I start replaying the scene again. Its so... I don't know. I'm not a puppet who you guys can toy with alright. I got my limits too, even though I've never shown myself being angry towards you guys. But, is my attitude to prevent being attached to anybody actually isolating myself from you guys? Damn, I hope I won't be sitting alone in the rain again when I'm 30+. I can't bear not having people around me.

Sorry guys. (Still, I'm saying sorry but some of you do seriously suck. So FO for you *******.

*Yes I know the title sounds emo, but thats what really happened. So screw you haters*